| Insubstantial Exuberance is a funny ideal |
|
|
| 02:48pm 29/04/2005 |
| |
I have embraced the chaotic nature of my true self.
Friends, peers, acquaintances, or whatever you'd be named, I am nearly complete in my efforts.
While the results are hard to examine for my lack of slumber, they are nonetheless present in my being.
The fools I have found introspectively have doubted my dreams, yet they are whisked away with a mere mental blitz.
Soon, perhaps soon, I shall reach the third stage of consciousness and be free from the bonds of stereotypical human traits.
Insubstantial exuberance indeed! |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Final Battle |
|
|
| 02:00am 22/04/2005 |
| |
This picture goes so well with the song "Rise" by Origa and Yoko Kanno. Chaos conveyed in lyrical format with a hint of camaraderie during wartime, I love it!
The painting is Alexander's battle at the Issus by Albrecht Altdorfer. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:45pm 01/04/2005 |
| |
A true paladin...
...will sheathe his sword. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| Machine = me |
|
|
| 02:10am 29/03/2005 |
| |
Lately, I've been feeling more like a machine than a human.
I don't seem to have a positive or negative amount of energy, just a constant amount required to get by.
I'll be a robot someday, just like in my childish dreams... or nightmares... or daydreams... or dot dot dots...
Note to me(everything is notes to me): You want gaming for a career, don't forget! |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| Just a simple click |
|
|
| 07:03pm 05/03/2005 |
| |
A simple click is all it will take. If you haven't figured it out by now then, by all means, ask me. Honestly though, I don't really care to listen anymore.
Anime club is going to conventions this year, maybe I'll go next year. Also, thoughts of rivers and forests keep invading the space in my mind reserved for anime. This year will be different. I'm not just saying it'll be different, I'm currently implementing the difference. This is all just another step. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Kanly |
|
|
| 01:08am 18/02/2005 |
| |
mood:  determined
|
This is truly amazing. All around me, people are lost in an orgy of noxious bliss. Literally and figuratively. I have this little secret that nobody will ever know, no matter how many times I tell them. These things that you do, they are killing you. Physically and mentally, you are all suffering and falling to an end you know well. Blame others, make excuses, lie! You all know what I'm talking about.
I'm not going to give up. Even if everyone else will give in to it, I'm not going to give up. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| Disappointment is an understatement |
|
|
| 12:42am 01/02/2005 |
| |
mood:  disappointed
|
I'm the one that doesn't fit into any groups. People find it difficult to place me. Regardless, I have decided it's time for a falling out. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Wow... a whole year? |
|
|
| 11:34pm 29/01/2005 |
| |
mood:  pleased music: GitS:SAC - Inner Universe ~Origa~
|
Many things just made sense all at once. You people have kept me in the dark for too long. Someone just let something slip that they shouldn't have, or rather that they most likely wish they hadn't. People are always underestimating me, or maybe they just forget too easily. Oh well, I'm glad I know now and that's all that matters. I'm actually happy that things turned out this way; I wish you all the best. You people make me laugh.
On to something different. I'm on a dodgeball team and we are badass. Also, I bought WoW and I have a secret strategy for making a powerful character. FFXI didn't really work out as two of my friends quit the game and left me hanging, and my computer wasn't working(my fault). By the time I had fixed my computer, the only friend I had left on it was level amazing while I was still level retarded. Sorry Siegfriedve, maybe I'll see ya in different online game.
-EDIT-
I just realized that it's been exactly one year since I've created this journal. This calls for an extra long post.
|
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Who am I? I'm beginning to find out. |
|
|
| 11:38pm 24/01/2005 |
| |
Let's examine the "truths". Man was made by God in God's own image. God did not want us to have all of his power so man was forced to be blissfully happy in paradise. Enter Lucifer. Feeling sorry for Man and resentful towards God, Lucifer gifts man the fruit of wisdom. For his direct defiance of God's will, he was cast into the pits of hell. Twisted and unforgiving, Satan tries to convert humans away from God. These are the stories from a Catholic's childhood and are now acceptable truths in many communities.
In the past, man would maintain vital body systems, procreate, and protect offspring. If there would be a condition that would negatively affect man, man would meet this difficulty through such methods as natural selection and physical adaptation. This kind of behavior does not aberrate from animal normality. However, something unexplainable happened: man had attained a level of intellect that goes far beyond any previous animal. Also, man is no longer feral.
Man is now in possession of a power equal to a God. With this new ability we have deviated from the "flow". Those who acquire more of this power are said to be farther from the light, and therefore farther from enlightenment. It's no wonder many religions often brand modification or technology as heretical things. Those who attempt to explain in terms of science are met with hatred and often hostility. Sometimes evil is required to do good. The path to hell is paved with good intentions.
This list conveys our insanity (we are all included)
-A constant and continuing record of crimes of violence committed out of devotion to a flag, a leader, a religious faith or a political conviction
-The barbarous wars of religion fought to decide a point of theology
-Various communist purges - social hygiene for the good of the people.
-The repeated and continuing use of slavery
-The holocaust and numerous other examples of genocide, and mind numbingly uncivilized and inhuman acts of abuse, torture and oppression.
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
The more I know, the more I shall be a heretic. I still don't know where I'm going with this. Perhaps it's merely a whisper from the deep recesses of my psyche. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Ghost in the Machine |
|
|
| 10:25am 24/01/2005 |
| |
To put it vulgarly, we are led to suspect that there is somewhere a loose screw in the human mind, and there always has been. To put it into more scientific language, we ought to give serious consideration to the possibility that somewhere along the line something has gone seriously wrong with the evolution of the nervous system of Homo Sapiens.
We know that evolution can lead into a blind alley, and we also know that the evolution of the human brain was an unprecedentedly rapid, almost explosive, process... let us merely note as a possible hypothesis that the delusional streak which runs through our history may be an endemic form of paranoia, built into the wiring circuits of the human brain.
The question is not one of choosing according to temperament or mood, the brighter or the darker side; but of perceiving both together, of noticing the contrast, and inquiring into its causes. To dwell on the glories of man, and ignore the symptoms of his possible insanity is not a sign of optimism, but of ostrichism. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Hmmmmmmmmm... I'm... |
|
|
| 09:59am 12/01/2005 |
| |
mood:  optimistic music: I'm a Pioneer (English)
|
I'm back at NDSU. I'm watching Full Metal Alchemist. I'm going to buy the Full Metal Alchemist game. I'm happy because I hooked up my computer to my tv. I'm not eating nearly enough and it's really cold here. I'm wondering how I ended up with a foot-high stack of books to read this semester. I'm a computer science major who is well on his way to an english major. I'm starting to do stretching and it's really helping with the pain. I'm thinking about playing Neverwinter Nights and Final Fantasy XI today. I'm waiting for my next class to start. I'm a pioneer. I'm hoping anyone who is angry at me will forget about me. I'm lusting for travel to unknown places. I'm starting every sentence with I'm. I'm having strange dreams about having an older brother. I'm also having great dreams about being the greatest computer scientist. I'm hungry for navy bean soup. I'm naming all my characters Hot Soup. I'm taking the grassy path. I'm curious as to what happens after Tenchi OAV, does the story continue in the manga? I'm thinking of either staying with Mike and Josh or Steve and Simek. I'm sad for my roommate because his date didn't show up. I'm going to be straightedge. I'm going to need a job this summer. I'm going to end this at 25. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I have seen it and it is good |
|
|
| 12:01am 19/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  calm music: Full Metal Alchemist - closing theme
|
I see it in my dreams, but then I wake up. That alone should satisfy me but... Since I am so petty, I keep making the same mistakes. How strong must I become so that no one will be hurt. I begin to believe that not hesitating is a weakness. Embracing the wound that will never heal, the two keep walking because they cannot go back. Their hearts deep inside, still hurt from the inerasable sin. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| People are funny that way! |
|
|
| 04:20am 07/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  Programming music: Metroid Metal - The Theme
|
MegaMan X is worth the money I paid for it all those years ago. Finite Automatons only further my belief that most can be thought of as programs. When the truth seems so far away; Buddha loves you and Jesus saves; you need answers for your dismay; ask yourself, ask your mom, ask DNA. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| You know it's good when there's a trilogy |
|
|
| 01:25am 02/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  content music: Tetris Rave
|
I have fixed my computer. I took some pretty risky steps to fix it though. I am considering Everquest again, either that or Ragnarok Online. Whichever I choose, I'll be playing it with my little brother. Honestly, no matter how good I am at those kind of games, he's always so much better. I'm really spending too much time on the computer, but homework is a must and it's not like I go to parties or anything. Still, I can't wait till I can expend some physical energy tomorrow at gym class.
Mike, Josh and I played Star Wars: Battlefront during thanksgiving. I haven't had that much fun in a while. It was great spending time with old friends. Steve and I are also planning to make a video game. We could either use RPG Maker II or Neverwinter Nights to make it.
Oh yeah, and before you make a crack about "Evercrack" think really hard about what you are going to say. If you understand what I'm talking about then don't say anything. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 02:34pm 30/11/2004 |
| |
The computer is changing. I'm doing what I can to help.
This may be goodbye for some time. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Should I go dual-class? |
|
|
| 04:59am 19/11/2004 |
| |
mood: content
|
Out of my five classes, only one of them is a Computer Science specific class. I feel amazing. The other four classes are public speaking, international political science, introduction to literature, and college composition II. All of these classes contribute to my major, but after this my generals are pretty much over. This is ridiculous.
Is it an appearance of God?
What is the definition of God?
If you mean the creator of the world, I didn't.
If you mean the almighty of the world, I can't.
Where are you?
If you mean the common existence of the world, yes, you may call me so.
I'm only affecting the world a little.
Who are you?
I am you. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
novadream55's journal
amused